My name is Steve S. It’s a cold and cloudy mid-July afternoon here in Lompoc, CA, a small piece of middle America grafted carelessly onto its end — a town which I’m forcibly trying to make my home. I’m starting this blog today, my one day at home in the middle of a two-week tour with my punk rock band, Quick Attack!, when I should probably be cuddling with my girlfriend, who is currently napping in my room behind me, or taking a much needed shower.
I have a degree from a rather nice university and experience taking responsibility for and completing very large and difficult projects in the world of community organizing, and yet under the strictest of definitions, I’ve been unemployed for the last twenty-seven months. I’m more than a little bummed about that, despite my knee-jerk ideological disdain for the wage system. It feels like every day, even when I don’t have much to do, I find myself making impossibly hard life decisions and wrestling with difficult philosophical problems. Like, how do I live my life to the fullest, and still survive? How do I balance living for the moment and planning for the future? Do I dare to hold myself up to my own standards, or should I simply relax and enjoy the world around me. And, what does success look like, and how concerned should I be about achieving it?
So, I’m starting this blog, on this cloudy and cold day in mid-July, to make a commitment to myself. I will update this blog, roughly three times a week, for five years. I’m twenty five years, eight months, and three days old today, which means that this blog will take me into my age-30 season, as they say in baseball. During this time of my life, I will have or find work, love, community, personal fulfillment, and I swear I will finish a goddamn novel. And I will do my best to answer all of those questions listed above, and this one, which has been haunting me for quite some time:
Why doesn’t every person matter enough to really be able to change the world?