A day in the life of a grammar nerd (a conversation in text messages)

March 29, 2012 § 2 Comments

Mariah: Do you still those ear plugs some were?

Steve: Honey you’re missing a verb. Unless you’re asking if I keep earplugs in a liquor distillery.

(I know, I know, I missed a comma.)

A few more things on my mind…

Lakers played very well, and just plain got beat. I have seen the future, and he wears a backpack postgame.

Elsewhere in LA sports, the Dodgers were sold for $2,150,000,000. My first reaction, by email to the fantasy baseball league, follows:

(I’m) Cautiously optimistic. McCourt was supposed to be the family-owned cure to News Corp’s total disregard for baseball and corporate evils like trading Mike Piazza to the Marlins for Southern Florida TV rights. Now he walks away from the charred wreckage of company Romney couldn’t have gutted any better with $1 billion in his pocket, even after paying off his ex-wife and all his debts. I’m not going to pretend that Magic Johnson isn’t basically my #1 childhood hero and role model, but I also am not going to pretend that he’s anything but an LA-friendly face on a new group of people about whom all we know is that they have lots of money.
Encouraging that they paid in cash but the enormous sticker price is making me wonder when the next shoe is going to drop and what it’s going to be. Will the new ownership group throw money at aging players past their prime just to make a splash, or will they invest in player development and international signings? Will hot dogs (or, veggie dogs in my case) go up from $8.25 to $15.00? Will they upgrade Vin Scully with cybernetic parts so he can announce for another century, or will they drop him out of a passenger jet with no parachute and replace him with Tim McCarver? And, will we follow the Giants’ lead and name our stadium after the phone company du jour?

My guess is yes, maybe, yes, no, maybe, and (sadly) yes. So, at least we got rid of one asshole (at least, mostly. His stench is lingering around in the parking lots). But I doubt we’re out of the woods completely.

Next time: Mass Effect 2 and performative identity.

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